Ever find yourself buggered as anything lying in bed about to fall asleep but then you realise you can't cos there's like a million things running through your head? That's what I found myself doing just the other night...and it's not an uncommon occurrence either... As I lay in bed tucked warmly under my doona staring at the ceiling, it was bizarre actually thinking about the thoughts flying around my head! I found myself almost on a journey...a thought train if you like...thinking about my day at work...putting in my first chest drain (!)...what I'd like to do in the future...where I see myself in 1 year, 2 years, 3 years...10 years...when I'd get married...how many kids I'd have...where we'd live...where I'd like to go travelling...what it'd be like if *blah* were to happen...And suddenly I realised...most of the things I think about, excluding the weird and bizarre thoughts I sometimes have, are focussed on the future... Maybe I'm subconsciously feeling that it's time to get a move on with my life...that things are moving too...slowly...? But having started work finally after umpteen years of study...one would have thought that that was enough of a big life change, a big life event for now... I guess I see friends, relatives and colleagues all around me getting married and I panic and think 'hey I'm 23 already and don't even have a gf! How on earth am I gonna get married by the time I'm *blah* years old like so and so!'
And then I think...hang on...life isn't a race! Starting work, getting married, having kids...these aren't checkpoints we somehow have to make it to first! But then again I think about other friends and family who remain single well into their 30s and I think 'I don't wanna end up like them!'. Not that singleness is a bad thing but God created us for relationships...relationships with Him and with one another and the worse thing for a human being is to be alone, hence solitary confinement as a severe punishment...
Time for bed...time to stare at the ceiling...time to board the thought train...
1 comment:
singleness doesn't mean being alone.
altho sometimes it may feel like it.
and the world around us certainly likes shouting it in our ears.
thankfully life is not a race huh?! at least not in the sense of checkpoints like those.
In God's perfect timing if He so desires. For we believe and know a God who is all powerful and ever so loving.
Be patient, ne!
take csre my friend and sweet dreams ;)
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