TGIF!!!

Thank Goodness It's Friday!!! Another week gone by and we're back to the weekend again! Last weekend was fun! Meant to write about it sooner but never got round to doing it this week...suppose I was a bit lazy! Or perhaps it was all that stuff on tv to watch...! Last Saturday went out to dinner with Themis, Jaz and Khoung. We went to a Thai restaurant at Coogee Beach called Rice. Very nice! Then went to see a performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream, also at Coogee Beach at the park on the southern end. I can't remember a thing about any of the Shakespearean plays so thank goodness the others could vaguely remember the story and explain some of it to me beforehand or else I would've been totally lost as to the plot! Was quite funny the performances! Don't know if it was the way Shakespeare would have envisaged it performed but it was entertaining nonetheless! Unfortunately it rained on us during interval so the second half of the show was cancelled. So we went to watch Casanova at the Ritz instead! Now all I know about Casanova is that it's some supposedly super super super famous film that's super super super old! But I think I better understand now the term casanova and it's usage in today's language!

This week seemed to go by pretty quickly! I think it was because my consultants didn't round that often so that meant they didn't generate as much work for me to do! So pretty bludgy week! Twas really really nice to get back to day shifts after my week of nights. Nice to just have people around and my own reg to save me when I have no idea what I'm doing! This week we even had time to sit around and have coffee (my reg shouted me twice!!! - she's sooo nice!!! - love my reg!!!).

Tonight went out to dinner with Jimbo (he's back from Lismore this weekend!!!), Jaz, Sus and Fester (surprise surprise!!!). Was really really nice catching up with people again! I'm beginning to notice how much I miss seeing everyone each day at hospital and uni...especially after that lonely week of nights! Tonight we went to Mamma Teresa's - quite nice! Then we hopped across the road to our beloved Tea Inn!!! Ahhh just like the good old days! Was interesting sharing experiences from our first 5 weeks of internship - amazing how similar they've been!

Oh btw - if anyone wants to print cheap digital photos, Harvey Norman plus Domayne are offering up to 200 prints per visit for 15c each! Bargain! I've printed over 600 photos this week - mainly from elective and last Malaysia trip! Now just have to find time to put them in an album this weekend...!

I was just about to tell you...that I love TV! I do!

Okey dokey here we go - a post dedicated to tv! Here are the details of my love affair with the box...without the dots!

Monday - Desperate Housewives
Tuesday - The O.C.
Wednesday - Prisonbreak + E.R.
Thursday - Lost + (coming soon - The Amazing Race!)
Friday - shock horror nothing!!!
Saturday - Gilmore Girls (although the season just finished)
Sunday - more shock horror nothing!!!

In addition to free to air tv, I now have box sets of tv series to watch on those shock-horror-there's-nothing-to-watch-on-tv nights! So far in my collection are: The O.C. Seasons 1 & 2, Scrubs Seasons 1 & 2, Astroboy 1980s Series, Transformers Boxsets 1-3! If you ever wanna borrow any...just ask!

So...do I watch too much tv??!

T'was the night before Valentine's Day...

...and there was not a stir in Bankstown Hospital! So here I am on my 3rd night of my week of nights and it's 5.15am in the morning! So far the shift today has been rather quiet...although I probably shouldn't speak too soon! But yeah so far only have had to take a couple of bloods (APTTs), put in just one IVC, and do a couple of med charts/fluid orders. Oh - also learnt something new tonight - that patients need to be reviewed after receiving pack cell transfusions for fluid overload. So have had to review a couple of those patients. Yeah I really can't remember why they have to be reviewed...what's the difference between the patient receiving blood and the patient receiving IVFs...? But it does seem vaguely familiar that reviewing a patient's fluid status is important after a blood transfusion...just can't think why atm...can anyone enlighten me cos my brain is too dead to think right now! So yeah when the nurse asked me to review the patient I was like "what for?!" and I must've looked pretty dumb! Oh well...I'm happy to learn from nurses!

So yeah a vast difference tonight compared to the previous two nights. I think it's due to the fact that yesterday the normal teams were there during the day to manage the patients whereas on the weekend, the patients hadn't been seen during the day properly and so the MOs have to deal with every little problem. But yeah on the weekend had to put in 2 IDCs in the same man who went into retention twice cos the IDC blocked, had to attend a MET call where the patient died despite CPR, had to certify another patient, and then more of the same IVCs, bloods and the random assortment of patients to review! Ok enough med talk!

So Valentine's day is tomorrow (or should I say today!) - anyone actually know the story behind Valentine's day? Cos I don't! And yet it seems to be quite a big deal in Western society...I don't think I really noticed it that much until this year. But just look at the ads on tv or in the newspaper and you'll see the most ridiculous ads aiming to take advantage of one more special day of the calender. Basically the ads are trying to say, "if you love your Valentine, buy them such and such for Valentine's day!" So you'll see a Bunning's ad or something advertising power drills that are on sale and the ad is suggesting that a power drill would make a fantastic Valentine's day gift!?!?! (Btw I don't know a single guy who'd want a power drill or any kind of tool as a gift for whatever occasion...myself included!!! I don't know why there's that stereotype that guys love tools!) Anyhow I think what this occasion and many others seem to demonstrate is the thinking in today's society that love can be bought. "Don't worry if you've been a lousy husband and haven't spent time with your wife...if you buy her a blender for Valentine's day, that'll fix her up!" And so the ads will have us believe that the only way to express your love for someone is to buy them something. And the more expensive that something is, the greater the love you have for them!

Now I'm probably sounding pretty cynical about the whole concept of Valentine's day and worldly love but in actual fact, I am somewhat of a romantic at heart. It's just that I think if all two people have for one another is worldly love, the kind that is self-centred, only seeking what is good for themselves in the relationship, if their feelings are lustful and only in the passion of the moment...then I think those two people are resting their relationship on rather weak foundations. Such love is vastly different from the love that God shows us...the self sacrificial love displayed when he gave his only Son to die on the cross for our sins so that we might be restored into loving relationship with Him. The kind of love that is patient, kind, putting the interests of the other person before your own. This is love!

So what does that mean for our relationships today and myself? I guess it means that as I go about searching as it were for my Valentine, I wanna be looking at myself honestly and assessing whether I love that person the way God loves us. And then whether that person loves others in the same way. Are they the type of person who would be really disappointed if they didn't get a dozen roses on Valentine's day? Or do they share that greater understanding of true self-sacrificial and other person centred love?

So now that I'm getting on in years (apparently!)...the pressure seems to be mounting to find a girl, get married, and settle down. I attended 5 weddings at the end of last year, friends who aren't too much older than myself. Not unoften is my mum asking me "so have you met any nice girls lately???" Or perhaps she'll hint not too unsubtlely, "You know, one of my colleagues at work has a 30 year old son and he's still not married. Can you believe that?!" Even when I went to Malaysia my grandma who's 86 told me she wanted me to hurry up and find a girlfriend so I could take her back to Malaysia to meet her...although I must say she did wisely tell me to pick carefully... She almost made it sound like all you have to do is go shopping for one as it were and simply pick one off the shelf after shopping around a bit! No...it takes a bit more effort than that I think! And being so busy with work this year...I guess it'll be even harder! If only there were an easier way...

...so who'll be my Valentine???!

Sleeping on the job...(^-^)zzz

Here I am at hospital doing my very first week of night shifts (Sat-Fri 11.30pm-8.30am)! It's 2.45am in the morning and I've just done a ward round of sorts so I'm kinda hoping I won't get called for a while! It's weird being here by myself so late at night...I mean there are other people around but walking down the empty corriders in a hospital in the middle of the night is...well...kinda eerie!

Well the Davis cup is on tv at the moment. Aussies are playing the Swiss in Switzerland. Wondering whether I should watch it or try and squeeze in a power nap...??? Atm not too sleepy maybe cos I woke up at 10.30am today and slept for a few hours after dinner before coming to work. But haven't really figured out what's gonna work for me in terms of switching around my sleeping patterns for this week...

Ok I think I'll take Garfield's advice and try and sleep before my alarm clock (pager) goes off randomly...!

Who wants to be an Intern???!

Wow - exciting news today! ...ok maybe not that exciting but anyhow... My patient load hit an all time record low of 12 patients!!! I couldn't believe it!!! We started out the day with 17 patients, sent home 5 and hey presto, we broke the previous record of 14 patients to reach the new record low of 12! Ok so maybe it's not as low as some people I know who only have four patients but hey for me it's a HUGE deal considering I started out the term with 27! I have to say there's nothing more satisfying at the moment than crossing a patient off my list. But I have to say, I've been wondering about this and what it reflects about my attitudes, conscious or subconscious, about work...

Does the satisfaction I get reveal that:
A. I'm actually a lazy bugger who wants to do as little work as possible - less patients = less work.

B. After my baptism of fire in having to manage 27 patients, now I think I've become super efficient...no...a super intern and our huge list of patients has been cut down cos of my super effort.

C. I've reached the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, from wanting to cry when I had to manage 27 patients to sheer joy and relief in now only having to look after 12 patients.

D. I'm happier cos my patients are getting cured and (after often lengthy stays in hospital) are being sent home happy, my reg and consultants seem happy with me, and hey things are on the up.

E. I really waste too much time thinking about these things and should get out more...

You've unfortunately run out of lifelines and Eddie Mcguire's running out the door to become CEO of channel 9...so...what's it gonna be??? What are you gonna lock in??! Huh huh huh?!

Show me the money! ($-$)

Got my first ever paycheck yesterday!!! After 19 years of study and hard work, some would say I've finally "made it!" I've managed to enter the workforce doing one of the top 5 asian parents' ideal professions for their kids (med, law, commerce, dentistry, and ???). And when people hear that Jon and myself are both doing med, it's not uncommon to hear "wah...your parents must be soooo proud!" And yeah I guess they are proud. But it does make me think...what is it about med that makes it so admirable to others, especially the asian community???

I think in the old days, med was equated with status in society and wealth, with knowledge and wisdom and I guess many of our parents still think that today. As to whether that perception is true or not, I'm not so sure... As my anatomy lecturer said in our first med lecture on our first day "If you're here to do med for the money, you'd better leave now cos I've been a practising physician for donkey's years and I'm still driving a Mazda!" Now I wonder why he said that! I think it's because people's perceptions of doctors is that they're wealthy. Perhaps also the fact that half our year was asian!!! The funny thing is though, I think my lecturer was correct in saying that cos it seems that alot of professions pay alot better than what we get in our first year out! Apparently teachers earn stacks nowaday and my mum who's a nurse is earning more per hour than I am!!!
But the more I think about it the more I wonder..."why am I actually doing med???" Is it cos my parents wanted me to do it? Is it cos I myself fancied being called "doctor" and because of the social standing the job seemingly portrays? Is it because of the money doctors have the potential to earn? Or is it just cos there was nothing else I pictured myself doing and med was the only thing left?

If I think honestly about it, I think all of the above things had some influence in me deciding to become a doctor. I'd like to think that it was for noble reasons, that I was being truly altruistic in wanting to help others all my life and that it was my calling...but I know I'd be kidding myself. As much as I'd like to think that I was doing med for all the "right" reasons, I know in my heart that I probably wasn't. But...are there really any "right" or "wrong" reasons for doing med? Some of my colleagues reckon that hey there's nothing wrong with doing med for the money. I mean in other professions it's ok to unashamedly be doing them for the money so why not med? Isn't being a doctor just a job like any other job? And isn't the point of any job to earn money to provide for yourself and your family? So if you're not doing your job for the money then what are you doing it for??? And yet there seems to be a social stigma in western society that doctors aren't supposed to be doing med for the money. Doctors are supposed to have their patient's interests at heart first and foremost and the suggestion that doctors may have percuniary interests that may conflict with their patient's best interests is abhorrent to us! Yet one of the very reasons asian parents are so keen for their children to do med is that it supposedly pays well! And so here I find myself, an asian born in western society brought up with these conflicting perceptions of doctors and money...

But at the end of the day I ask myself - what really matters in life? Is it money? NO! Is it relationships? YES! And so I quickly remind myself that although I'm now in the workforce earning money, money should never become the sole focus of my pursuit in life. Relationships are worth far more than any amount of money could ever buy...although try telling Homer Simpson that:

Homer: "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

Of first and foremost importance is my life-saving relationship with God, then with my family, and then with friends and colleagues! What is all the money in the world if you have no one to share it with! And when I think more about it, doctors do earn alot of money! And so do most of our wealthy society! The thing with money is, we're always comparing how much we have to how much some richer guy has! And so we're always gonna think we don't have enough! But as they say, the majority of Australians are just about millionaires! We are a very wealthy country and anyone living here is richer than the vast majority of the 6 billion people living on this planet! As a Christian, I believe that since God created the world, everything is His and everything we have therefore comes from him, including money. And so I would do well to remind myself of this and learn to trust and depend on God for my daily bread as it were, and not my own efforts in earning money.

I still think though that being a doctor isn't just a job. I hold to the view that being a doctor is a privelege and not in the sense that I lord it over everyone that "hey I'm a doctor! Aren't I great!", cos to be honest, I cringe when I tell people I'm a doctor and they're suddenly so impressed...but yeah I'd like to think that if I were a patient, that my doctor would genuinely care about me, that he wouldn't be concerned with making money by doing unnecessary investigations and tests etc. And I'm sure the majority of doctors are really genuine and caring. But yeah, in a world where you need money to survive, they'll always be people who value it over anything and anyone else. In these first 2 weeks on the job even, I've found it challenging sometimes to be genuinely caring and concerned about some demented and even aggressive patients I've had to look after, or the ones who complain alot and want your attention all the time when you're super busy. If I've learnt anything in these last 2 weeks, it's been that patients are people not diseases, and all they want is some respect and dignity, and to know that they are amongst people who really care for them when they may have no one else in life who does. And this is the kind of doctor I want to be I guess. People talk about what specialty they want to do and people are forever asking me whether I want to be a hot shot surgeon. But hey, I think what ever I do, if I can remember to treat patients as the people they are, to genuinely care for them and love them as fellow human beings, and to just show them the love that God has shown me, then I'll be satisfied being the doctor I am.

So now that I have my first paycheck, who wants a treat?!