It's gonna be a dog of a year!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!!! Happy Chinese New Year of the Dog! With myself being a dog, I suppose this is supposed to be a special year for me! And according to this horoscope, things are looking good in all departments! Work is gonna get better - geez I think considering the start I've had, it really only can get better! I'm gonna have money flowing my way without even trying - geez don't know about that but I suppose at the moment work is somewhat of a novelty to me and doesn't really seem like work so when I actually get my first paycheck it'll kinda feel as though I didn't really try much... Health - yeah I'd better watch my diet alright!!! Been so busy at hospital that haven't always managed to eat lunch at lunchtime and lunch kinda becomes afternoon tea! And these free lunches we get at hospital sometimes...they're always the same sandwiches!!! Man you'd think they'd look after us better - where are the drug reps??? Love - "Married couples will enjoy a loving relationship. Singles too!" ??!! I sure hope they don't mean singles are gonna be enjoying loving relationships with one of the couples! But yeah with work this year I'm gonna have to work doubly hard this year in this department!

This chinese new year eve I was sadly doing my first overtime weekend shift. It was insane man - 8.30am till 12 midnight!!!!! Almost 16 hours man and I was pretty much busy the whole time running around putting in drips, charting meds, and attending to patients with anything ranging from chest pain to confusion and delirium! I have to say that 16 hours is tough man and I sooooooo felt robbed of a weekend! Thank God (literally!) that nothing serious happened that I couldn't handle and despite being somewhat zoned out by the end of the shift, I somehow made it home in one piece! So yeah I slept in on Sunday till 11am or something like that and went out with family for lunch. Came back and enjoyed resting and not having to worry about anything. Sadly couldn't go to church this week cos family arranged last minute dinner with my cousin and his newly wed Korean wife and her family so I thought it'd be more important to attend that. Dinner was nice though. We had it at this Indian restaurant on Cleveland St in Surry Hills and it was good catching up with my cousin, my "biu-so" (cousin's wife in Chinese apparently), and her family. My cousin's a surgical SRMO at POW this year whilst his wife is a Radiation Oncology registrar at POW too. So yeah anyone working or who is thinking of checking into POW this year - watch out! Dr Lau (s) are on the loose!

Oh oh oh I'm hoping to start collecting those stamps and coins that Australia Post puts out each year as CNY memorabilia! Just the dog ones of course cos why would I want any other ones?! That'll mean just buying them once every twelve years or so...not an expensive collection I'd think...! Just have to find time to pop into a post office...=P

So there you have it - the year of the dog is upon us and it looks like it's gonna be a dog of a year!

We love our lamb...apparently!

Aussie aussie aussie - oi oi oi!!! Happy Australia Day everybody!!! Geez I don't even know if that's what you're supposed to say to each other on Australia Day but oh well! Has anyone seen that ad on tv advertising lamb on Australia Day??? It's pretty funny!!! This guy comes on and tells us that eating lamb cutlets is basically the solution to everything and he argues that to not eat lamb is to be "un-Australian"...whatever that is...! I guess that's a term that's been cropping up in the media and everyday language more and more of late. The Cronulla riots were described as "un-Australian", a guy who was on trial in court for beating up some guy was described by the judge as having done something very "un-Australian", and now we're being told that to not eat lamb is "un-Australian!!! So what on earth does it actually mean to be "Australian" as opposed to "un-Australian"??? I suppose other terms come to mind like "fair-dinkum", "true-blue", just being a "good bloke"...but it seems to me that we're not too clear exactly what what those terms mean either! We seem to be able to call things "un-Australian" when we as a society disapprove of something like the Cronulla riots, but if you asked the random bloke on the street what it meant to be Australian, I'd think he wouldn't have a clue! So are we in the middle of an identity crisis as we become more and more of a multicultural society??? I think just how multicultural we are was brought to light by the riots but sadly it gave the world the impression that Australians are racist and a bunch of red necks...at least that's what my relatives in Malaysia were wondering. I had to do my best to reassure them that the riots were basically due to a minority group of gangsters and juvenile delinquents on from each side clashing and picking fights, and that they (hopefully) didn't represent the attitudes and views of the majority. But I have to say, nothing makes me feel prouder to be an Aussie than when I see a bunch of people from so many different ethnic backgrounds having their faces painted with the Aussie flag or flying Aussie flags from their cars on the way to the cricket or tennis. When we have something to unite around, whether it be a sporting event, raising money for overseas aid, or celebrating an occasion like New Year's, I think one of our greatest attributes is that we share that sense of patriotism and I think that's just marvellous!

My Australia Day was a welcome day off from the chaotic first week of work I've had! Went over to Colleen's place for a super duper awesome BBQ put on by her fully-sick-mate-iron-chef-bro Chris and his assistant chefs! It was funny though, cos I don't think those lamb ads worked on us Aussie Asians cos we didn't have any lamb! Was nice catching up with friends from church outside of church context and I reckon it's something we should do more often! After the BBQ, I headed over to uni to play tennis with Jon, having being inspired by watching the Aussie Open! It was still hot at 5.30pm or so and we kinda languished as we played on. The court behind the baseline on one side was actually flooded cos of a pipe leak or something so everytime Jon missed the ball down that end (or I hit a really bad shot to him that flew way out), he'd have to fish it out of the pool of water! We settled the game in a tie breaker which I won for once 7-5! We went home for a nice dinner and enjoyed watching the Aussies beat Sri-Lanka in the cricket with only a couple of balls to spare! Advance Australia Fair!!!

A time to be born and a time to die...

Got to hospital today and had just put my stuff in my locker and gone downstairs to the ward when my pager beeped. "A MET call has been called for one of your patients" the message read. (MET = Medical Emergency Team and they are called pretty much when a patient is about to kark it) I ran over to this patient's ward and met my registrar who was already there. I helped out where I could and the patient managed to be stabilised somewhat. In the middle of managing this patient, my pager beeped again. I answered the page and a nurse told me that another patient under our care had had a MET call called for. I couldn't believe it - welcome to Day 2 at Bankstown Hospital!!!

Today was a chaotic day. We had even more patients today - 27 - and with those two MET calls to start the day, we were playing catch up from the beginning. In fact, there's still stuff leftover to be done for tomorrow. Ran around all day desperately trying to keep up with the growing list of tasks to do, never quite getting on top of things. Missed lunch today and had to settle for a 3pm bite when my registrar insisted that we had to take a 10 min break! Later in the day, the first patient that we saw today, the one with the first MET call, passed away and I had the sad task of certifying the death of my first patient =(. It was rather.. 'unsettling' being in that room with the deceased patient. I can't exactly describe the feeling. I think as doctors, the way we often deal with the emotional side of the job is to become desensitised to what we do. We inadvertently try to compartmentalise our feelings and start viewing patients as diseases that have to be cured, not unlike how a mechanic views cars that have to be fixed, so as to separate the emotion from the job. I've always tried to keep it in the back of my mind that patients are real people, fellow human beings, with real feelings and emotions, not just "the urinary tract infection lady in bed 5" or another name I can cross off the list when they die. It's difficult though when you're on the run all day and there's hardly time to pee, let alone time to relate to patients...

So I guess all this got me thinking about the many limitations of doctors. We like to think that we can save the whole world or if not that, then at least the patients under our care. But the fact is that we're not miracle workers and whilst we may be able to delay death, in the end we are beaten by the fact of life that everyone dies and nothing we do can prevent that. I supposed being on the aged care team, I really shouldn't be surprised if there are many more patients that will die on my watch. It's a sad fact, but perhaps eased somewhat if I know that a person is Christian. We as Christians believe that there is life after death and that this eternal life with God in heaven is granted to us by God in His awesome grace if we accept that Jesus, God's Son, died on the cross to atone for the sins we've done. I guess as a Christian, I don't fear death in that respect because I know that when I die and meet God my creator to be judged, I trust that Jesus will have paid the penalty for my sins granting me eternal salvation in heaven. That's a comforting thought amongst all the pain and suffering in this world. I pray that all of you who don't know Jesus would talk to me about Christianity or to another Christian you know. We never know when it'll be our turn, even though we're young and free. For everyone there's a time to be born and a time to die...

"Hi, this is Ben the Aged Care Intern..."

And so began my first day as a real doctor!!! Yup! Today I was the intern on my team - not a student, not a tag along - the intern! And guess what - I loved it!!! Ok so maybe I had 25 patients (that's alot!!!) to deal with, maybe I didn't have a clue what was wrong with them all, maybe the nurses kept paging me every 5 minutes, and maybe I didn't leave hospital till 7pm on my first day - I still loved it!!! (Maybe I'm just a little delirious right now!) I don't know how I made it through the day but I made it. Everyone at hospital was really really friendly and understanding that it was my first day - right from the nurses to my registrar to my consultants to the patients - that really made a huge difference! I managed to do just about everything in an intern's job description today - from going on a ward round with my consultants, to taking blood and putting in IV drips, to writing discharge summaries, to delivering all kinds of forms to different departments, to attending an intern education lecture, to attending patients who were quite sick! In all that running around, I forgot about eating, I forgot about drinking, and I didn't even think about taking a pee! Lunch was during the intern education lecture and I have to say now that I understand why doctors hate medical students eating their lunch - cos well...they're eating our lunch!!! Got to my lecture late and there were pretty much only scraps left from the platter of sandwiches. And who did I see nearby munching them up but a whole bunch of 4th year medical students - some of them my brother Jon's friends who shall remain anonymous...! So from now on - gotta make it to lectures on time to eat!

But all things considering, I still really really enjoyed my first day on the job. It was busy and hectic but the time really flew by and as the old saying goes - time flies when you're having fun! It felt great having something to do all the time and having some real responsibilities, it felt great feeling like I was making a difference, it felt great working together as a team with other staff, and it felt great relating to patients and their families. I guess I'm only now remembering some of the reasons I wanted to do medicine so many years ago! I guess my job is not just a job to me, it's not just something I do cos I'm being paid to do it. I guess I see it more of a privilege and something that has been entrusted to me to perform with the utmost care, diligence and effort. I thank God that He has put me in that position and I really hope that He will give me opportunities to really make a difference not just to the physical health of my patients but more importantly to the spiritual health of the patients and staff I work with.

Time to sleep before another big day! (^-^)zzzzzzzzzzzz

Six Degrees of Separation

"Six degrees of separation is the theory that anyone on earth can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries." The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called Chains. It's amazing how often you meet people who are indeed connected to you by the most extraordinary of acquaintances!!! Today at church, met a lovely couple from Parkes who were in Sydney for the week and just visiting our church. Turned out that the lady I met was the music teacher of one of my med colleagues from Parkes! Perhaps not so surprising if one considers that in small country towns everybody kinda knows everybody, but nonetheless, it made me think that the six degrees of separation theory really might be true!

I remember once upon a time, one of the Sydney radio stations was playing a six degree of separation game show on the radio. What they did was to have the person calling up to play try and discover if they were connected by six degrees or less to some random name they pulled out of the phone directory. So I guess it would have involved them ringing up pretty much everyone they knew to see if they knew this person and if not, to get them to ring up everyone they knew to see if they knew this person! Are you confused yet?! Maybe we should try it one day!!!

Anyhow, tonight the eve of my first real day of work!!! I really can't believe that after 19 years of education leading up to this moment, I'm finally here!!! Oh did I tell you about our RMO Association dinner? It was really really nice! And classy too! It was at the Malaya Restaurant at King St Wharf. The dinner was a great opportunity to meet some of the outgoing 2005 interns, many of whom will be staying at Bankstown as RMOs (ooops - for the non-medically inclined, RMO stands for Resident Medical Officer which is what you become after your year of internship). They were super super friendly and even said that they'd set up a buddy system and have a list of them we can contact if we run into any trouble whatsoever! I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that! There's probably going to be heaps of stuff I don't know how to do, and heaps of stuff I don't even know I should be doing! It's nice knowing that there are friendly people willing to go out of their way to help us get settled and find our feet!

Well I should probably go to bed now! Wouldn't want to be suffering from fatigue on my first day of work! Signing out, Dr Ben! (so going to have to get used to that!!! =P)

Be patient with your doctor - he could be making his debut!

Hey everyone!

Here we are on the 20th Jan and we've reached the end of my week of orientation!!! Today was our ward orientation and we joined our respective teams. I met my aged care team and was introduced to a really nice outgoing intern, registrar and one of my 2 consultants - the bosses I'll be working under! My outgoing intern had his own RMO orientation to attend in the morning so he handed me his pager and hey presto - I was suddenly the intern for the morning!!! The feeling was somewhat exhilirating, whilst at the same time as if I was carrying a ticking time bomb! But actually, I soon realised after a couple of pages that nothing too demanding was being demanded of me (well at least thus far *fingers crossed*!) and with the help of my registrar (who assumed I knew absolutely nothing!) I managed to make it through the morning till my intern returned!

Now about to go out for our RMO association end of term/welcome new interns dinner at the Malaya restaurant at King St Wharf! While I'm out you can read this article Jimbo sent out! It's from today's online Sydney Morning Herald!

Be patient with your doctor - he could be making his debut

By Anonymous
January 20, 2006

HAVE an apple today. Whatever you do, don't get sick. Please.
Sound advice at the best of times, but particularly prudent right at this moment. Next week, there will be an influx of shiny new doctors into the NSW health system. I'll be one of them and you could be my very first patient. Like most of my fellow interns, I'm terrified.
More than 200 interns will start their first day of work on the wards on Monday. There are a few true geniuses out there who appeared to simply breeze through medical school and will surely excel from day one. But the majority are just praying, "Not on my shift, please, not on my shift."
It's an oft-quoted fact that "complications" increase in January, aided by the influx of nervous junior doctors who have yet to find out just how their new hospital works and where everything is. We've been through medical school and passed our exams, we've been floating around various hospitals for the past few years of our lives; but come Monday, we'll be unleashed on an unsuspecting public.
And it will all be new again. Despite our education and training, there is little preparation for the bowel-clenching sleep-menacing terror of new responsibility for an ill person's life and wellbeing.
No longer can we hide using the "I'm just a medical student and can't legally sign for anything" ploy. Now we're going to be responsible for dosing and choosing the morphine, the heart drugs, the anticoagulants, the antibiotics and all the 1001 other pills, capsules, injections, fluids, ointments, creams, suppositories and enemas than no human being can memorise.
Waiting for the phone call: "Mrs Nguyen's blood results have risen off the scale, Mr Ahmed's got chest pains, Miss Jones complains she's not feeling 100 per cent - what are you going to do about it, doctor?"
The perks of being called "doctor" will grow stale very quickly. It's not the glamorous verging-on-mythical portrayal of television and film. We're not ER-like walking encyclopedias, willing to risk careers to chase down wandering patients outside the hospital for radical treatment.
If anything, my peers advocate Scrubs as being the most realistic and representative hospital show: the absurdities, the sad and depressing hopeless cases, the terror and the unbalanced power interactions between patients, nurses, and the medical hierarchy.
You can spot us on the wards. Neatly dressed in appropriate hospital attire, stethoscope dangling, an armful of paperwork and a shiny-faced idealistic desire to help mixed with the sleep-deprived stare of a rabbit caught in the headlights. When you see us, please be patient and understanding - we want to do our best for you, but it may have to wait for countless reasons. "What are you going to do about it, doctor? Doctor?"

Ben's Anatomy =P

Wow wow wow!!! Today was my very very first day at work!!! Not that I did anything significant cos this first week is only an orientation week, but nonetheless!!! For those who don't know (or have forgotten) I'm working at Bankstown/Lidcombe Hospital - ya huh - I've become a westy (albeit, an inner westy! But hey I'm an easty and proud of it so anything west of Anzac Pd...!). The trek out there only took 25-30mins so not too bad la! This place will be the place I work in and breathe in for the next 40 (+ overtime)hrs/week for the next 52 weeks!

If you're thinking intern life is as glorious as Grey's Anatomy, ER, or any other of the dozens of medical shows on tv, the short of it is that it isn't! First day of orientation involved getting welcomed about 10 times (which was really nice!) and going through a mixture of admin matters as well as some practical workshops in suturing, taking blood etc etc to make sure we're half competent doctors in one weeks time (when we start for real!). Got another ID badge to add to my collection and discovered what a nice new hospital Bankstown is, not unlike the renovated Sutherland or St Vincent's hospitals! So all in all, quite happy so far with getting Bankstown despite my first preference being Prince of Wales.

Did I say how very happy I am to back home?! I must say it's been good sleeping in my own bed again, having a western toilet to do my business in rather than a squatting toilet (although I must say my leg muscles have probably strengthened somewhat!), and just having all the comforts of home! I really do appreciate home all that much more every time I come back from overseas! Also been really great catching up with friends again, especially church friends whom I missed heaps whilst overseas! Did manage to go to church in Malaysia and that was an amazing experience but you really do miss church back home when you've gone away for even just 3 weeks!

Ok time to catch up on what's been on tv! Stupid tape recorder didn't work when I was away cos my paranoid (or should i just say Asian!) dad turned off every electrical appliance so missed out on the Apprentice final (if anyone has it can I please please borrow?!?!) and a couple of episodes of GGs! I think tennis is on so go the Aussies - c'mon!!!

Malaysia 2005-2006!!!

Hi everyone!!! I'm back in Sydney after my 3 weeks away in Malaysia and it's really really good to be home! Sorry to those who've been checking my blog for new posts but found none cos I had really limited internet access over there and limited time really to update my blog from overseas. So I'm making up for it now!

Went back to Malaysia mainly for my cousin Joe's wedding to Isabel! It was on boxing day and as is Chinese custom over there, there were 4 wedding functions. First up was a prewedding dinner/open house put on by Joe's parents (my Uncle and Aunty) at their place. They had a nice marquee set up in front of the house and invited lotsa people! Second was a Chinese Tea Ceremony on the day of the wedding itself in the morning. Joe and Isabel had to offer tea to all their elders in return for red packets, whilst all those relatives younger than them (myself included) had to offer tea to Joe and Isabel (also in return for red packets hehehe!) The third function was the registration ceremony. This took place at the reception venue at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, KL. The ceremony was essentially an athiestic one, the type used in western weddings not held in churches, and this one was rather short! Finally the main function was the reception. The venue was decorated really superbly and all the cousins had roles to perform. Jon and I were part of the ushering team so we had to help people find their allocaed tables. The reception itself was fun as we enjoyed seeing photos and videos of Joe and Isabel, and heard speeches from relatives and friends. The food was the typical ginormous chinese wedding banquet and by the end of it none of us on our table could finish it off! So yeah congrats to Joe and Isabel on your wedding and thanks that we could be a part of it!

The rest of our trip in Malaysia involved a combination of sightseeing, visiting relatives, and of course eating the local delicacies (including my favourite Char Kway Teow) and shopping! We visited the cool Genting and Cameron Highlands, historical cities like Taiping, and bigger cities like Ipoh and Penang. Saw some amazing scenery and was reminded of what a beautiful place Malaysia really is! It was also great hanging out with relos and it was especially great hanging out more with cousins on my mum's side, 2 families of which are Christian! Going to church in Penang was an experience!

We spent 3 nights and 4 days in Singapore including New Year's Eve! Our days there were packed with activities including shopping at the famous Orchard Rd, visiting the Jurong Bird Park & Chinatown, and visiting Sentosa Island! We sang in the New Year at Clarke Quay, Singapore's trendy nightlife area, similar to our Darling Harbour.

So yeah that's a very very brief summary of my 3 weeks abroad! I have a 200 page or so travel diary that I was writing along the way with more detail in it! As much as I enjoyed my trip back to Malaysia, there really is no place in the world like Sydney and every time I fly back home, I get that shiver of excitement going up my spine! Also with all my friends here, how could I live anywhere else! But for now, it's back to the real world, and on Monday it'll be the start of working life for me - I'm excited!!! =)