A time to be born and a time to die...

Got to hospital today and had just put my stuff in my locker and gone downstairs to the ward when my pager beeped. "A MET call has been called for one of your patients" the message read. (MET = Medical Emergency Team and they are called pretty much when a patient is about to kark it) I ran over to this patient's ward and met my registrar who was already there. I helped out where I could and the patient managed to be stabilised somewhat. In the middle of managing this patient, my pager beeped again. I answered the page and a nurse told me that another patient under our care had had a MET call called for. I couldn't believe it - welcome to Day 2 at Bankstown Hospital!!!

Today was a chaotic day. We had even more patients today - 27 - and with those two MET calls to start the day, we were playing catch up from the beginning. In fact, there's still stuff leftover to be done for tomorrow. Ran around all day desperately trying to keep up with the growing list of tasks to do, never quite getting on top of things. Missed lunch today and had to settle for a 3pm bite when my registrar insisted that we had to take a 10 min break! Later in the day, the first patient that we saw today, the one with the first MET call, passed away and I had the sad task of certifying the death of my first patient =(. It was rather.. 'unsettling' being in that room with the deceased patient. I can't exactly describe the feeling. I think as doctors, the way we often deal with the emotional side of the job is to become desensitised to what we do. We inadvertently try to compartmentalise our feelings and start viewing patients as diseases that have to be cured, not unlike how a mechanic views cars that have to be fixed, so as to separate the emotion from the job. I've always tried to keep it in the back of my mind that patients are real people, fellow human beings, with real feelings and emotions, not just "the urinary tract infection lady in bed 5" or another name I can cross off the list when they die. It's difficult though when you're on the run all day and there's hardly time to pee, let alone time to relate to patients...

So I guess all this got me thinking about the many limitations of doctors. We like to think that we can save the whole world or if not that, then at least the patients under our care. But the fact is that we're not miracle workers and whilst we may be able to delay death, in the end we are beaten by the fact of life that everyone dies and nothing we do can prevent that. I supposed being on the aged care team, I really shouldn't be surprised if there are many more patients that will die on my watch. It's a sad fact, but perhaps eased somewhat if I know that a person is Christian. We as Christians believe that there is life after death and that this eternal life with God in heaven is granted to us by God in His awesome grace if we accept that Jesus, God's Son, died on the cross to atone for the sins we've done. I guess as a Christian, I don't fear death in that respect because I know that when I die and meet God my creator to be judged, I trust that Jesus will have paid the penalty for my sins granting me eternal salvation in heaven. That's a comforting thought amongst all the pain and suffering in this world. I pray that all of you who don't know Jesus would talk to me about Christianity or to another Christian you know. We never know when it'll be our turn, even though we're young and free. For everyone there's a time to be born and a time to die...